The Ballad of the Immigrant Trump Supporter (And The Crazy Lady Who Wants Him Deported)
A Nigerian guy works at the gas station near me.
I go to his store every Wednesday
For lottery tickets and beer.
Once, he gave me an extra dollar in change,
And I gave it back,
So we became friends.
He has lived here for seventeen years,
And been an American citizen for two.
One time last Summer,
I wore a Bernie shirt,
And he wore a Trump hat,
So we started talking.
I asked him, as an African immigrant,
How could he support the things Trump does?
He said he doesn’t care if Trump is racist,
Because everyone in America is racist.
America is about winning,
And Donald Trump is a winner.
He told me Bernie would never beat Hillary,
Because Hillary would cheat.
And Hillary would never beat Trump,
Because our country would never vote for a woman.
But Trump would make America great,
Because he is a great businessman.
We talked for about 30 seconds every week.
Not enough time to get too involved,
Which is probably the best way to talk politics with a friend.
He says, “Good luck, Buddy”
As he hands me my ticket,
And I say he’ll get a million if I win.
Tonight,
As I entered the store,
My friend was engaged in a loud conversation,
With some crazy lady.
I noticed that she was standing in the door,
Letting all the warm air out.
“You need to show me some respect!”
The cashier is yelling back.
“You need to show me some respect!”
They both yell at the same time.
“You need to show me some respect!”
As if that was a convincing argument.
I stand in line,
Next behind some guy with a Bulls hat,
And this loud, obnoxious lady,
Who says he can’t talk to her “like that.”
She kept pointing at the ground,
And staring up at the roof when she spoke.
She told him to “go back to his country,”
And that he didn’t belong in ours.
She screamed “they’re making laws to find you,
And you’ll be deported with the rest of them.”
She said he didn’t deserve to be here,
And he “stole his job from an American.”
She looked at me,
Probably because I was the only other white person there.
She pointed at me,
As she finally closed the door,
And said “that is why good Americans like us voted for Trump,
To get rid of people like you.”
I bought my ticket and asked him what happened.
He said the lady was standing by the counter,
Asking every customer for a dollar,
So she could buy a box of Swiss Cake Rolls.
He told her to leave,
And then she went nuts.
She had a car,
And paid for a lighter with change.
She had just bought twenty dollars in gas.
She looked like an average person,
With an ACC Tournament sweatshirt,
And an old denim fanny pack.
I wonder if,
When that lady tells this story,
The illegal African immigrant,
Who was stealing jobs from Americans
And doesn’t belong in our country,
Becomes the crazy one.